"Protective Mode" a poem by Elizabethe Perry
Sometimes I sit & stare
Into space
Reflecting on the past
With tears streaming down My face
Thinking about what I lost
And how somethings can never be replaced
And how some I love so much
let me be beaten and carried away
Then I think how
I didn't even protect me
Expecting ones, I caught
To simply just catch me
Most def, when I only expected love
They would only reject me
And I can tell the truth
And they would claim
Here I go again deflecting
Now every moment forward
I stay in protective mode
My body feels warm
But my heart is getting cold
Cause I keep people sacred
While like informants
They went and told
And that's when I knew
I was made from
A different mold
So I stare out
Into space and into time
And think me wanting
others to be good
Now I am not fine
Like how I am a martyr
But I'm still alive
Maybe how they assassinated my character
Makes me question the Divine
And it's so confusing to me
that I'm supposedly so strong
Even tho I'm always hurt and cry all the time
Cause people will ask you
To be vulnerable
Then complain you talk to much
and all you do is whine
So now I sit
And You won't hear a sound
Cause I have to protect myself
from everyone around.
Most Definitely, when trust is not a option
and belief is a question
I was begging for answers
They wouldn't even give me a suggestion
And its never a stranger
Who I am introducing myself too
Cause I got to deal with demons
And their passive aggression
So.........................
Is safety a luxury
If so, I'm drowning in poverty
Is understanding and compassion
A commodity I need
If so, it is like water
Than I'm so thirsty
That Ill drink the sea
Does Sacredness something that hides
Away from me
If so , I don't like games
and I'm tired of hide and seek
Most seek me to judge and destroy
never to love
than expect me to surrender
my cup
And I can be cool
But never chill enough
So I'm in protective mode
and anyone who protects me
Im crashing out for fo-sho
Until then, I got me
So for me, myself and I
Im on GO.....
In Protective Mode
This poem is written by Elizabethe Perry from Advance,NC via NY